Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Cap'n Jack....the rum is gone."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard, the news caught me by surprise. When he walked around that corner at the airport, reality finally stepped in. Watch out Tulsa, Skank-Flank has come to town (aka Chase's Dad).
Being the one with the alcoholic drunk father who pops in and out every few years just to point out how much of a man I'm not, and to raid the local bars for good booze and easy women, really the only man role model in my life was Jack Morgan. Chase's parents took me in like their own son. His mom would always feed me when my mother forgot and Jack would always cheer me up after I was given undeserved abuse from my mom. I'd have to say I much rather call Jack and Katherine mom and dad then my own parents. They weren't perfect either, but then again there is no rule book for parenting, but when a little bruised up and hungry boy appeared in their doorstep late at night, they always made sure he was well and fed.

The first thing we did after getting them back to the house, was plan a party. Mrs. Morgan was always a cocktail kind of woman. She liked things classy and clean cut, but Jack...oh he was a different story entirely, the man could down six bottles of whiskey and still be conscious enough to hit on the most attractive woman in the room. Cap'n Jack was what he liked to call himself, combining Captain Morgan and the personality of Jack Sparrow, I'd have to say the name fits him pretty damn well.
The party kicked off as soon as the gang made it over. The music was loud and Skank-Flank hit in every girl in the gang, even Jelly, but when that happened I made sure Cap'n Jack here knew that Jel's would be one thing I wasn't going to let him play around with. That sort of went to pot when I got wasted and was too busy giving Kit lap dances to pay attention.

Before we even had a chance to get over the hangover, Jack had another party in play for the following night, but no one complained, greasers love a good free time.
It was halfway through the second party, and Jack wasn't half as drunk as the was five minutes into the first party. He just sort of swayed by for a while.
I felt a tug on my sleeve and turned around to see good 'ole Skank-Flank holding up my guitar. I took it from him, wondering what the hell I just got myself into.
Jack doesn't leave his guitar anywhere, so of course he had it with him. We shut off the music and hooked up the amps as the room went dark. Now Jack likes to make an entrance, he has to be the life of the party and make it known. He hooked up a fog machine upstairs near the rail that overlooks the living room. What the hell? The man even brought a spotlight. There he stood at the top of the stairs emerging from the fog wearing only his underwear and a cowboy hat. I stood in the dark on the solid wood coffee table dressed identically and strumming notes on my guitar while Jack sang the familiar tune. It started out slow then kicked up big as he slid down the bannister.
Immediately after our "big" number, I downed as many drinks as possible before I drowned myself from the inside out. Apparently Jelly had way too much alcohol herself, because I found out the next day from very close sources that we had apparently got it on in front of everyone on the coffee table. Knowing that Jelly nor I would every consciously expose ourselves in such a way in public, I simply blamed Cap'n Jack and his need to party, also now having the knowledge I didn't have two weeks ago, I wonder why was Jelly even drinking in the first place?

Luckily the next morning I woke up in the right bed with the right woman. Can't really say the same for Skank-Flank, but that's another story.

5 comments:

Jamie said...

:D I COULDNT EVEN FOCUS ON YOUR POST :D :D :D YOU HAVE GLEE <3

Unknown said...

That's Pop for ya! The adventures of Rumeye and Skank Flank. Haha

Angela Shepard said...

Ah, that was classic, haha.

Kitty Curtis said...

Dude I think you developed an obsession with giving your best friend lap dances. And Jack, he's starting to freak me out. help me!

Dimitri Ryder said...

I only give them cause you ask for them :p