Feeling Alive

"Hey, give it back Dimmy." Her cute curls and adoring voice tugged at me, I couldn't tease her like this, I'm not that kind of big brother. "Okay, Lena. Here." I chunked the doll back at her, deciding to be nice and not cut it's hair off.

*beep**beep* "he's loosing more blood...." *beep* "..prep him for surgery" *beep**beep*

"Dimmy, were you really gonna cut all her hair off?" Said Elena. "Course not Lena. I wouldn't do that to you." A smile widened across her face as she threw her arms around me. "You're the bestest big brother ever Dimmy." I smiled back.

*beep**beep* "...wake up...please Dim, just wake up..." *beep* "...I told you I'd die for you Dim. I'd give anything for you to be alive.....right here, right now." *beep**beep*

"Dimmy, will you be my hero?" I loved her innocent voice, it rang often in my ears. "Always Lena."
"Good. I love you Dimmy." "I love you too Lena."

*beep**beep**beep*


I could feel reality start to set in around me. The first thing I noticed was a beeping sound which felt like I'd been listening to it for days. The next thing was that I realized I wasn't alone. Someone was close to me, I wanted so much to know who....and why?...and where the hell was I? I racked my brain, if I could have physically kicked myself I would have, but for some reason I couldn't seem to get any part of my body to move. What was the last thing I remembered doing??
I was hanging out with Jelly, Chase, and Kit. We were walking down the street cutting up and laughing at something...I think?....then there was a car, and Jelly didn't move so I pulled her out of the way and............ Shit! That's when I noticed the pain. I felt like something was ripping at my insides, repetitively stabbing me in every direction. It hurt to breathe. My eyes frantically moved and I began to blink them into focus. The first thing I saw was a clear thick tube sticking out of my mouth. It gave me the urge to cough. I felt something shift next to me and the next thing I knew two people rushed up to me and began slowly pulling the tube from my mouth. I choked it out and coughed to clear my throat causing an agonizing pain down the left side of my body. I turned my head to see the most beautiful eyes staring back at me. They were filled with tears, and looked like they had been for days. They were familiar eyes, probably the pair of eyes I knew best. They gave me the same feeling they always had. I felt the sense of warmth and comfort take over me, holding another emotion near in the distance. It didn't take long for that last emotion to hit me.... Love. The background came into focus as I made out different colors and shapes, it revealed the greatest thing in the world. I didn't say anything, I couldn't even recall what words were. Fear started to push through to me. What if I had left this? What if I was dead right now? And the worst question, the one that would haunt me till the day I died. What if it had been her? I did the only thing my body allowed me to do. I stretched up and kissed her lips. I felt tears drift off onto my face. From that moment I knew that it didn't matter what a doctor was about to tell me, I still had her, and that's enough for me. Words didn't come easy for either of us. What were you supposed to say in a situation like this? Her hand brushed through my hair as she continued to gaze into me. I already knew everything she was trying to say. I reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks and kissed her again. "It's okay. Everything is okay now." I whispered.
"I thought there was a good chance I would never hear that voice again." Jelly said.
She pulled back and I discovered that we weren't alone. Chase was lingering close, his face showed his emotions. Relief lifted off his shoulders, and then I noticed someone else standing next to him. I met her eyes for only a second until she sprang to my bedside placing her hand on my cheek. "Elena..." She leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Never again!" She said while giving me a stern look. "Winding up in the hospital is my job." I took it jokingly, but her face showed she meant it in complete seriousness.
"You're awake!" I heard a deep voice coming from the doorway. "Thank God." I tried to look in that direction the best I could. I at least could tell who it was, Dr. Winston. I had this idea to try and sit up so I could see him better, but the moment my body moved a loud pain ripped through my nerves. I felt my teeth clench and my eyes wince followed by a strain of words I wish didn't spill from my mouth in the presence of my girlfriend's father, but I couldn't help it. It hurt so bad. "Oh no," he rushed towards me. "You need to stay put, I'll have a nurse get you some heavy medication before I sit down and explain some things to you." He wasn't using his professional stance and voice that I know he used with other patients. He used a more familiar tone, he was treating me like I was his son.
Just then the nurse came in and hooked up a drip to the metal rack holding many IV's connected to various places on my body. Then Dr. Winston took out a small light from his pocket and flashed it in my eyes. "You don't appear to show any signs of shock so this should go pretty easily.." What did that mean? What was he about to tell me? "Do you remember what happened?" I felt the need to use words since I hadn't been able to in a while. "Yes, I remember everything." I stated.
"Good, you were finally conscious enough for us to do a brain scan this morning, and it showed no signs of any brain damage. You do have a major concussion that will easily be monitored, but you got very lucky Dim." He stared at me, and it wasn't till then that I realized just how serious this was. "You shattered your shoulder blade," he pointed to the left side of my chest that exposed what I thought an unnecessary amount of bandaging. "broke five of your left ribs, cracked your sternum," that explained why it hurt so much to breathe. I expected that to be it, but his words continued to trail on, "you tore some tissue in your neck, so that will be sore for a while. When your ribs broke, they pierced through the top of your skin, we put you through surgery to stitch that up and to also stop the internal bleeding that was coming from a part of your large intestine that ruptured sometime during the accident. And lastly, you shattered the left side of your pelvic bone." This was a lot to take in. "What's the outcome of all of this?" The question had lingered in my mind since I first began to feel all the pain. "Like I said Dim, you are very lucky. It will all heal...eventually, and then you will be able to move and function pretty normally." I felt a huge sigh relieve my body. Making it through this with a small single scratch or a shattered spine, either way it still would have been worth it. I did consider myself lucky, so I'd spend a few days in a wheel chair and weeks on crutches needing help to clothe and bathe myself, and yes a shattered pelvic would kick me out of my sex life for a while, but I'd rather it all be me. I rather be in a grave dead then to see Jelly suffer through any of this. What I was hearing now was heaven compared to what I could have heard. I was thankful to be alive, to see my friends and family waiting for the moment when I woke up, to wake up knowing that the person I love most is very much alive and well. Despite all the pain, no one in the world feels better than I do at this moment.