Monday, August 15, 2011

The Day That You Will Always Remember As the Day Kit and Dim Went to Jail

"Get your lazy ass outta bed and let's go somewhere." Kit yelled while she attempted to shove me off the bed.
After more yelling and hitting I finally rolled over, "Well...your not exactly who I wanted to wake up to."
"Yeah Yeah, Jelly's at work so your stuck with me on your day off." She grinned with that smile that told you KitKat Curtis had something devious planned.
"Kit, if you don't get out of here I'm going to get out of this bed." I threatened.
She looked confused, "But that's exactly what I want you to do..."
"See those clothes over there Kit?" I pointed to a pair of boxers and a t-shirt lying on the floor across the room. "thats what I was supposed to sleep in last night..." I said.
When she came to the realization that I had no clothes on, she ran screaming into the hallway.

I glanced at the clock, 11:00, it wasn't even that late, and I had just gone to sleep around four am, but I decided it was now or never, threw on some jeans, and headed to the kitchen for coffee.
"You smell like sex, go take a shower." Kit complained as she rummaged though the fridge for most likely nothing at all. I walked up behind her and rubbed my shoulder against her back, "Here have some.." I said.
She screamed, "Great, now I have to burn these clothes..." she threw a little hissy fit then headed off to her room for more clothes.

We just started driving to nowhere in particular. Kit was giving me directions, but I had a feeling she had no intention of reaching a real destination. After about an hour, the car started to make a strange noise as smoke emerged from the hood. I pulled off the road, and turned the car off, but when I tried to open the door, it wouldn't budge. We attempted several times to unlock it, but it was jammed.
"Alright," Kit said, "im breaking a window."
I grabbed her arm before she had a chance to hurl it through the glass.
"This is a '67 Limited Edition Chevy Camero.... no way in hell I'm letting you bust a window." I said very sternly in all seriousness.
"Then what the hell are we supposed to do?" She asked.
I shrugged, "Wait for someone." I suggested.
"Kit pulled out her phone. "Of course, no signal."
Kit looked at the road, she turned her head left then right.
"Where in the middle of fucking no where." Her voice raised.
"Someone is bound to drive down this road within the next hour." I was trying to remain positive, with the chance of getting out of here with no broken windows.

An hour passed, and there was no sign of any life within thirty miles. I could feel the sweat trickling down my back and wished I had a water bottle stowed in the glove compartment.
Another hour later and I though I was going to burn alive in the summer heat. I pulled of my shirt and tossed it in the back seat.
"Good Idea." Kit said. Rolling up her tank top exposing her too skinny torso. "It's a good thing I wore boy shorts today.." She said before removing her jeans.
"What the hell." I shrugged and decided to pull mine off as well. It was so hot I really didn't care who I was sitting half naked in a car with.
The sun started going down and it cooled off a bit. It was nearly was nearly six o'clock. I was listening to Kit press the unlock button for the last two hours.
"Kit, it hasn't worked the last 241641321658413241 times you've pressed it, it's not going to work the next 42412468476343543."
She sighed and threw her feet up on the dash. I laid my head against the steering wheel and closed my eyes. It felt like only a few minutes later when there was a tapping on the window. I looked up and saw a cop standing outside. THANK GOD!
He motioned for me to open the door, I yelled at him through the glass, trying to explain that it was jammed. He reached for the door handle and oddly it opened from the outside.
"Well, what do we have here?" He said.
He looked about fifty with a pudgy belly that made me think he was one of those small town sheriffs you see at the doughnut shop every morning.
Kit and I started rambling on about what happened to the car and how we had been sitting out in the heat all day.
"Looks to me like we have a couplea kids getting it on, on the side of the road. You can't fool me I know how you teenagers are these days..." He went on.
"No sir, it really wasn't like that we just.." He cut me off.
"Oh so your going to lie to me about it? I ain't dumb boy. I can see that little purple box in the back seat."
Having no idea what he was talking about, I glanced back. DAMMIT! When Kit realized what it was she gave me a look that said 'you're shit stupid.'
"It's a long story." I said, trying to figure out how the KY Intensity box got in the back seat of my car in the first place......ooohh,... right...

"No, really it's just a misunderstanding sir, the car won't work.." I tried to explain again.
He snatched the keys from my hand and turned the ignition. It roared to life.
Are you serious? What sick joke was God playing this time?
"Uh huh, that's what I thought." He said, very unhappy.
He looked over at Kit. "Did that stuff really work darlin?" He asked.
Kit's jaw dropped, appalled at the question.
"Did you scream so loud the racoons could hear ya?" He added.
"Is he fucking kidding me?" Kit whispered.

He took us 'downtown' which looked more like our neighborhood.
"Public Indecency, Lying to a cop, and you sir caught in the act with a minor."
That part hadn't even crossed my mind, but once he said it, im pretty sure I nearly pissed my pants.
"We're going to have to contact your legal guardian young lady." He said to Kit, who was slumped in the chair with her hands cuffed, still in her underwear.
"Great," she said, "How the hell am I supposed to explain this to Darry?"

The sheriff escorted us to one of the few cells that lined the hallway. He slammed the bars shut and walked away whistling.
Kit turned around, she looked like she was ready to punch me in the face. "Couldn't I have just broken the window?" She asked. At that moment I wasn't so opposed to it.
We weren't there for long when another cop unlocked the cell, setting us free. I walked through the door into the lobby and came to an immediate halt when I saw who our 'springer' was.
She stared at us with one of those looks your mother gave you when you were in trouble.
"Jelly, I can explain." I said standing there in just my underwear.
"You know these two?" The sheriff said from behind the front desk.
"Yep, that's my best friend.... and this is my fiance." She explained.
The sheriff burst into laughter spilling his coffee on his uniform.
Jelly didn't take her eyes off of us. "You two have a lot of explaining to do."



5 comments:

J.A said...

HAHA! i can imagine jelly lol buht dimitry we are mechanics we can get the window fixed lol... YAY IM first comment and comment on my post 2

Kitty Curtis said...

what kind of idiot doesnt take out an KY intensity box from his fricking car! I mean what if u wanted to use it in a bed?! but oh well, despite my annoyance with u, the look on ur face when the cop said "getting it on with a minor" made it all worth it.

P.S: pedophile :P

Unknown said...

you are a dumb hoe lol

Dimitri Ryder said...

ur moms a umb hoe :p (dont tell her i said that)

Dimitri Ryder said...

*dumb