Elena's back from North Carolina finally. She went with her ex Jake who she recently got back together with...as long is his name isn't Bob, I couldn't care less who she is with at the moment. A year ago, back when we lived in California, I hated Jake. He knocked up my sister, but seeing how gorgeous and joyful that little girl is, makes me proud to be an uncle at age twenty. Jasalin is a year old now and Elena went to get here in North Carolina to bring here back here with us. I found out that Elena hasn't been eating. I placed two fingers around her wrist and if I squeezed I swear her tiny little wrist would have snapped. She said she doesn't know why she hasn't been eating, she just says she can't and then she gets all emotional and cries about it. She passed out in the living room floor. It seems like I'm always worried about her in some way. Her life is always in fast forward. She never slows down.
Even when I'm out having a great time with Jelly, I constantly find myself worrying about Elena. I swear it's not healthy. I was born as her older brother... so why the hell do I have to act as her dad?
When I'm not worrying about Elena, I'm thinking about Jelly.
Our two months is only days away, and I have to constantly remind myself it's only been two months. Sometimes I think what would have happened if I didn't have that party? Would we be where we are now? Together?
I first saw Jelly when she and Kit came to hang at the DX with Soda just after I was hired. She strutted up in her dark skinny jeans and a blue baseball t-shirt. I remember thinking how pretty she was. I also remember not shutting up about her after they left ha ha. I think Soda got annoyed. I can honestly say without having to think or hesitate, that Jelly is truly the best thing to ever exist in my life. I do have to give some credit to the greatness of Kitty. If it wasn't for her sort of setting me and Jels up, I don't know if I ever would have asked Jelly out. Of course I wanted to, but wanting and doing are two very different things. Thanks so much Kit, because if it weren't for your divine eager and outgoing personality, I would be alone amongst everything I have to deal with right now.
Jelly and I were lying outside the other night. We didn't talk much this time, we just enjoyed the presence of each other. I remember just thinking about her. I came up with a top 5 list of the things I love most about Jelly...
5. She is so full of life and energy, she keeps me going when I rather just give up.
4. Her beauty is not only an outward appearance, it sinks deep within her, she's so pure and genuine.
3. I could be in the shittiest mood possible, on the verge of wanting to rot in a muddy ditch, but when she walks in the room... I'm drowning in a sea of joy and all thing pleasing.
2. She's real. She loves being only herself...which I love because nobody can be a better her.
1. The number one thing I love about Jelly..... is the way she makes me feel.
I laid there thinking about all of this, and doing some narrowing down because there is definitely a much longer list that goes way beyond this.
Today I was playing with Jasalin, and in her adorable little baby talk, she said "Dim, you gonna marray Jel-Jel?" The first thought I had was what the hell do you say to a one year old when they ask a question like that? But later on I thought about it... it's only been two months...that's too soon....right? But I realized other obstacles bigger than time.
I work at a gas station on a low income, I'm too busy and focused on Elena's mischief, I'm only twenty. Jelly deserves better than that... she deserves someone who can undoubtedly support her. Someone who has to focus and worry and protect and is 100 percent devoted to only her. I pondered on this one year old's question... in a few years, I can definitely see myself marryinhttp://www.blogger.com/g Jelly. I love her, she makes unbelievably happy, but she deserves more than I can give her right now. So until then, I guess I'll just have to dwell on the things I love most about Angelica Winston.
9 comments:
Kitty, you have done good. Demi, NOW you have the best friend's blessing. Demi and Jelly sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First come love, then come marriage, then they make Kitty the maid of honour and godmother of the kid.
As for E, I'll talk to her Dimitri. Wait... No. I'm probably the worst person to talk about eating disorders.
well dimitri i find it amazing how u feel about her... it shows u truly love her and that is a gold.. as for marrying i totally agree with u.. u are to young and so is jelly she's to young and so are u..
yea and for EL if u want i can talk to her about her eating disorders..
Oh my god. I am at a loss for words, but in a really really good way :]
I don't have a eating disorder!! Wee finally found some things I can eat now :) haha jasalin is soo silly I'm glad I hve her back with me and Jake..Don't worry about me anymore Brother. I have Jake to protect me now! I haven't got into a fight with another soc in a while I haven't been drinking for 4 months!
I love jelly as a sister she's made u very happy over the years . I've never seen u this happy!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. That's just...fabulous! YOU BETTER MARRY HER EVENTUALLY.
Ooohh weddings :3 And awwwwwwww!!!
<3 :) <3 :) <3 :) You two are soooooo sweet together! and like cristy i cant fight the urge to say AWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
Okay coming from a girls standpoint...that rocked...and IF my hubby ever wrote anything like that about lil ol' me...I would melt! how totally uber sweet! I am in awe
That was sweet haha
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