I Have Begun to Sink

I woke up in a cold sweat, panting. I slipped out from the bed, trying not to wake Jelly. Ever since Kit's last episode, I've been having nightmares...very vivid nightmares that seem too real. I sat on the couch with a bottle of Jack in my hand. I never really had the taste for whiskey, but nothing else seemed strong enough.
"Couldn't sleep again?" Kit's voice emerged from behind me.
"Yeah...something like that." I answered.
I worked from morning to close the previous day. The restaurant was slammed, and we were short staffed, I was exhausted. If I had laid down on that couch, I could've fallen asleep within the minute....I could sleep..I just didn't want to.
"What's with you Dim?" She paced around the couch before flopping down beside me.
I sighed, "I keep having nightmares Kitty...ones I hate reliving over and over night after night."
"Well, what are they about?"
I hesitated...and yet again had to relive every detail.
"Sometimes they're about Jelly and Soda getting back together...or about her and I trying to have kids but..they never make it to birth...some are about Jelly dying..or killing herself... God, Kit, I can't even sleep without dreaming she's going to leave me, somehow." I said.
"Well there's gotta be something that causes you to think these things?" she informed.
I thought for a moment, back to the letter Kit planted for me to see in the trash can.
"Yeah Kit....it's you!" I said, my voice raising.
"Me?" Kit rose to her feet.
"Yeah, you're the one who wrote that phony letter and planted it where I could see it...you're the reason Jelly's mad at me for I don't even know what...you're the reason I can't even get a decent sleep at night....It's all you!!!" I didn't notice how loud I was yelling till I had finished, and honestly...I kind of scared me.
"Really? You're going to point all this shit back at me? She's the one who never told you Dim...not me." she responded.
"Would you get the fuck over yourself Kit...you started this whole damn fight! You're the reason TwoBit can't even stand to be around here anymore...he can barely stand to be near you anymore." Once the words escaped my mouth, I regretted them immediately.
Hot tears welled up in Kit's eyes as her hand flew backwards then across the left side of my face.
We stood there for a moment in silence.
"I'm sorry....I shouldn't have said that..." I said.
I heard a door open down the hall, and just as Jelly emerged from the corner.....Kit's lips met mine.
It was all so fast, it took me a minute to recall what was happening. This was my payback, it wasn't just a war between her and Jelly anymore.....now she had brought me into it, and much deeper than I could tread.