I spent a couple of nights on the couch, I don't know why, I guess sleeping in the bed without Jelly didn't feel right to me. I heard a knock at the door early Saturday morning. I sprang up from the couch and opened it to find Jelly. A smile played across my face. Okay, she took some time for herself, thought things through, and now she's back, right? WRONG! And that wrong hit me so hard I couldn't find a breath to push words out of my mouth, so I just stepped aside and allowed her to fulfill her task. I STEPPED ASIDE? She just told me she was leaving me...and I step aside allowing her to do so, so freely? I stood at the door dumfounded for the entire forty minutes she was there. She walked out the door with boxes and a suitcase, turned around and placed something in my hand...her wedding ring. Is that really all this meant to her? One argument and a mistake that wasn't even mine...and she's already giving up? I didn't even have the strength to shut the door, I walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the floor.
What's the point now? I could just die right here...and it would be better than living a second without her. Somehow I had crawled into the bed and all I can remember for the next two days is just laying there....I didn't eat, I don't even remember getting up to use the bathroom...tears drowned my pillow case. I wanted to die, honestly. Death was the only way I could escape such suffering. I was plotting a million different ways to do so, until Kitty walked in the room.
"Dimitri..... what are you doing? You're not even going to try to convince her to stay? The Dimitri that I know would.."
"Yeah, well the Kit that I know wouldn't try to rip her best friends' marriage apart." I shouted.
"Dim, I didn't try to,"
"Go away Kit. I don't want anything to do with you." I said coldly.
After I heard her footsteps disappear, I started thinking again. Kit's right! Why am I just laying here without even trying to explain myself? Get up off your ass and go get your wife!
I pulled into Jelly's house. Luckily, James was at work, so Jelly was alone. I knocked on the door.... no one answered. I knocked again.....and about after the fourth time I figured she was not going to open this door. I went around to the back of the house. The back door was locked too, but it was made out of glass. I found a tree branch and busted a hole through the glass so I could reach in and unlock it.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" Jelly said appearing around the corner.
"No!" I said forcefully.
"I'm gonna call the cops."
"And tell them what? That your husband broke into your house?" I replied
"You look like shit." she said.
"Yeah, well my wife left me....im not exactly feeling peachy." I explained.
"If your here to spill your heart out hurry up. The faster you leave the better." She said.
I stood there, twisting my wedding ring on my finger...looking down at the floor.
"Ya know I don't know about you Jels, but when I stood there and promised that I'd be there for you, through the good and the bad, now matter how hard things got....till death do us part, right? Well, were still alive....and I'm keeping that promise."
"You kissed some else!" Jelly yelled.
"Jelly you know me better than anyone...and you know Kit better than anyone. Do you really think that I would do that to you? Do you really think I would kiss Kit? C'mon, IT"S KITTY! You know she only did it to get back at you....you know that Jels....you're hiding behind something else..and you're not telling me what it is. I know we had an argument Jelly.... I'm sorry I criticized you instead of seeing your motives behind it. I've never been in that situation, I had no idea how it made you feel, and I'm sorry I didn't look at it through your point-of-view. I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to think about it from all perspectives." I felt hot tears falling from my eyes, "I'm sorry that I didn't understand, but I can only know what you tell me. I can't know what you're feeling unless you say so. I'm so sorry, but I made you a promise that I am sticking to. So whatever it is that you're afraid of, you need to get over it....because I can't live without you Jels, I love you, so very much."
And with that I turned and left.
